My child has back to school anxieties is a thing I am hearing a lot from parents.
Let’s look at some tips for helping to support your young person at these unprecedented times.
Listen
Listen to what the young person is saying. Do not try to put your views on them. These are their worries, not yours. Do not say, ‘it’ll be great when you get back to school and see all your friends”. How do you know it will be as they are the one going back to school not you.
We are all unique individuals and deal with things differently, even when put in the same scenario. The last thing the young person needs is someone telling them how they feel.
Acknowledge
Acknowledge the worries that the young person is having. Let them know you are there to listen to them and trying to understand their point of view. Reflect back to them what they have said so that they know you are trying to understand, do not say, “it looks like you mean this or that.” Actually say to them, “what does that mean for you?” You will then get them thinking about what they are saying and how it is actually affecting them.
Normalise
Let them know it is ok to feel worried. Worry is a normal response to things, it is what produces our bodies natural defence, adrenalin. Encourage them to write their worries down and then help them work through them step by step.
Goals
Is it the travel to school, is it going into the classroom? There could be lots of worries and ones that you have not even thought about. When they have their worries, make a step by step plan to achieve the overall goal. Do not move on to the next step until the previous has been completed.
Unknown
These are strange times for all of us, none of us know what is actually going to happen when schools reopen. As human beings we do not like uncertainty, we like to feel in control. Explore with the young person how uncertainty affects them. Explain we cannot control the future but what we can deal with is the present. If we try to stay focussed in the here and now, they will feel more in control.
If I am worried about something in September, what can I do about it in the month before? Nothing, other than wind myself up more. Even if I worry about it now, will it stop it happening in September, probably not.
What needs to change?
Ask the young person, what needs to change for them to feel comfortable about going back to school? This will get them thinking about doing things differently. More than likely school won’t be able to change but the young person will be able to learn to do things differently, which hopefully will let the alleviate their back to school anxieties.
If you have been hearing these things or are starting to hear these things, please give me a call on 07850 447585 or email hilary@lifebalancecounselling.net